Bad news for me

Hi,

I needed to vent somewhere so i decided to do it here. I saw a psychologist monday because i worry a LOT. I had already done a course with them but that didnt help me, but all the others atleast worried a bit less. She asked me a lot of questions about how i am towards other people of my age and stuff.

She told me i might have a light form of Asperger Syndrome. Thats a highly functional autism. You might be good at a lot of things, but social you are very lacking, especially towards people of your own age. You try to say the right things, but because of wrong tone, or gestures, the other one gets annoyed.

It happens a lot to me, those kinda of things, but it really scared me that she said that. It isnt sure, there could be other reasons too, but when i read the criteria more things clicked. Im really good with spelling and grammar on paper, but terrible when talking for instance.

Im not sure exactly why im posting this, probably cause i just need to put this somewhere and im scared to tell people which will then look at me funny. My bf is supportive but my best friend mostly thought it wasnt right and then aksed me loads of questions but suddenly went offline. I am scared to ask my parents too, because they mostly feel im just making the social problems up. I dont have it as much with "grownups" so that would make it harder for them to see.

Anyways, sorry you had to read this. Now go have fun again

Hi Natalia, Please don't feel bad you wrote this , everyone here would love to help I am sad for you not b/c you have a problem but b/c you feel you have a problem.I'm not a doctor but I do know that all people of all ages are under stress most times.This is why it happens to everyone that they say things with good intentions and the others get annoyed. I hear this from my DH, my relatives and friends.Even in this forum sometimes I write something and I'm not sure how will others understand it.I'm not trying to belittle what the psychologist said , it's just my opinion according to what I interpreted from you.We all worry a LOT,not just you .If this the 1st time you see this doctor , maybe you can see another one.Some times 2 doctors can have the same results but you'll feel comfortble with one and not the other.Please don't be harsh on yourself,we are all with you,and for me I'm sure that many people like your company

i have one friend and someone I know (not so close a friend) with asperger syndrome, and they lead a totally and absolutely normal life, if such thing exists. they've been to university (one of them has 2 degrees and a PHd) and they both have friends. they follow the treatment carefully and that's it. it's only social autism. to put it in a nutshell, someone with asperger has more probability to be seen as "unfriendly", but there we go again: I don't have asperger and I am unfriendly, especially when I want to. the prove that it is a perfectly liveable illness is that nobody will ever notice if someone else is an asperger unless they are told so. besides, together with the difficulty to socialize, there is a high probability to be gifted in certain subjects, especially science.

this post isn't aimed to soothe you or to make you not to worry. it will take time to diagnose properly and then, time to get used to it. then, time to do the treatment and see the results. this posts only wants to inform you that I understand your worries, and to let you know that it's not as bad as it sounds in most of the cases. I recommend that you ask for good information when the diagnose is definite. information is the key.

by the way, you don't sound as an unfriendly person when you right, on the contrary, and i would sign you a certficate for that if you ever needed one

Thank you girls for your kind words

Most of the time people with Asperger can write well, even some can write "too" well, so writing i like. I make mistakes when talking, i mean something well but use wrong voice and the other doesnt get how i mean it. Or i use wrong way of saying it and the other takes it as a judgement when its ment as an observation.

The one my boyfriend finds most frustrating at times, though of course he learned to deal with it: I dont ask questions as questions, i mostly state them while i still mean them as a question

I dont know if its Asperger, or how do you call that, gifted? The symptoms are quite the same, but i do know i really wanna find out because i sometimes make myself crazy. My thought go so quickly and i really worry so much about social things. You know there are events from when i was like 12 which i still remember? Just because i said or did something wrong and people laughed at me for it.

I hope its not Asperger but atleast its nice to know you can live really well with it.

Thnx

Oh, sweet Natalia! There is no need to apologize for posting this. We are all friends here, and we care about what others are feeling. We love you!

Please don't worry so about 'labels' or social misgivings. I make a lot of social blunders, too, and don't even have any excuse for it. You are very talented and gifted in many ways, and I admire your strength in pursuing your education in spite of illness. You have been under a lot of stress with school, working, being sick, keeping a home, and all that you do. Allow yourself to make a few mistakes socially; those who know and love you will understand. Those who don't.... who cares what they think?

It's easier for me, too, to write than to actually talk with people, as I freeze up and sometimes become tongue-tied, or appear judgmental, or snobby, when really I am simply scared of what people think. Yes, even in my old age! I guess I never learned the social graces, but as *somebody* once said, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" I'm sure the same is true for you. We all love you, just as you are. We all have different gifts to offer... that's what makes our world so interesting. Please, don't sell yourself short.

It probably would be a good idea to get another opinion, since this diagnosis maybe isn't that definite. But please, dear, try not to worry so about it. I'm thankful that your BF is supportive of you.

Bonnie